K just informed me that he does not need a ride tomorrow because rather than taking a day pass he is staying in PH and helping on a project.
My first thought: He's lying. He is up to no good.
My mind goes a million different directions, I am filled with fear and worry.
Then I had to calm down and tell myself two things:
1. He may be telling the truth, he really likes PH and I can tell he feels good being part of the community, perhaps he really is going to help out on a project.
2. Even if he is up to something, there is nothing I can do about it. Its his choice, his life.
This is a taste of what it will be like when he comes home. Constantly wondering if he's lying or not. I hate that it has to be this way, but it is. When do you regain trust in an addict? Do you ever?
Song of the day:
Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara
3 comments:
Over time. With sustained evidence. Slowly. I don't think addicts realize how deep the wounds of all those lies runs. You have to fight your way back to your own life without that trauma hanging over every day. It takes a while.
How do you regain trust? The same way you lost it. One day at a time.
I think that actions help me regain trust, not words.
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