My entire family has only been together once in the last three years, last June. Yesterday would have been another opportunity for a "family photo" but thankfully no one brought it up because it would not have been complete without Keven. He's missed so many holidays, get-togethers, etc. Its hard for me to accept the fact that he may continue missing out for years to come. I don't want him to miss out on these years of life, my 20's were fun, adventurous and relatively carefree.
When we were new to this evil disease, I, like most parents, thought it would only take a rehab or a jail visit or something of that nature to knock some sense into him. Once he had completed a good rehab he'd figure it out and choose to move on with his life. I wish. It takes total commitment from him and a good solid recovery plan that is his top priority above all else. It usually doesn't happen in the first few years, but I hope for him it does.
As Lou said on her blog today:
I'm convinced the road to recovery is long, winding, and paved with different recovery tools. There is a huge difference between "alcoholic" and "problem drinker". Between "substance abuse" and "heroin addict".
"If you are new to a family member's heroin addiction, do not be lulled by brief periods of sobriety (whether forced by jail /rehab, or voluntary). Heroin is a long haul. Heroin doesn't go away because of negative consequences. You don't just quit heroin. If an addict does not have a life long recovery plan--abstinence, the 12 steps, the 10 commandments, medication, or some combination of these-- heroin will be back."
Here is a link to her blog, please read it. Even if you already know this (as most of us do) we have to keep educating ourselves so we can help others who are new to this.
Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara
6 comments:
Just like Keven, sometimes you just have to live in the moment. Never fail to take those family photos because Keven is missing from the picture. You can't re-capture the moments you miss.
oh, I so know what you mean.....I'm hoping his sobriety and recovery continues....peace & hugs to you
Amen, Barbara. Amen.
I don't know when the last time we had a family photo - I think B was 16. I think about that all the time. He doesn't even look like he used to anymore and I think if we took one it would be more of a constant reminder of how sick he is. Hang in there, we just don't know which time will work for them. I pray this will be it.
Thanks, Barbara. I do believe everyone is on a different time line. The family should never give up. I had someone comment on my blog that others believed in them long before they believed in themselves.
It is different for us all, and when the path comes to an end, the ending can be a surprise...but looking back on the path, the jungle still somehow leads us back home, to wherever that home may be. It is often a long journey compounded by unbelievable inclement weather, and if we are lucky...we will emerge a new person on the other side.
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