Because my great-nephew, Wyatt, is visiting for a few months, I got out all of Keven's Legos - he has a TON of them. Wyatt and I are carrying on where Keven and I left off, we both could spend hours building and making up stories of what our Lego people are doing in their Lego worlds.
Sometimes I wonder - did I spend too much time playing with Keven when he was a kid? Is it normal for a mom to sit on the floor, back aching, derriere numb, for hours working on a 953 piece police station? (It came with a jail and a prisoner, who would have guessed back then.....).
I think I spent more time with him than the average mom because I didn't have a husband or other children to care for. It was him and me. We were a team. We had so much fun in his childhood - especially out on the ocean on our Boogie boards.
So, anyhow, today I was sifting through them to give some away* tomorrow and it was kind of emotional for me. Made me feel sad, long for those simple days, the pure joy, the carefree life we had. I never took it for granted back then and - even though my mother and others said we spent too much time together - I don't regret one minute.
* Tomorrow I am taking Kev's friend with me to visit and he's bringing his two kids along. They have a nice play there. Keven wanted to give some of his Lego's to Williams kids I am filled two gallon size Ziploc bags full of them. We obviously have plenty to spare!
Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara
11 comments:
Hey: I've been following you for awhile, I identify with what you wrote about legos. I was at a new library that just opened in my little town in S Texas, a suburb of San Antonio, and I love the new library, it is just beautiful...and the whole time I was there, I was so wistfully thinking of how much I would have loved taking my son (addict) and my daughter (non addict) there, and how we would have looked forward to it. I know what you mean about those past days. Blessings, A/TX
You know, one of the things I wish I could do better was play with my son. I feel like I do not know how to play anymore. I think it may be because I am so much older than so many "new" parents. My neighbor is only 23, and she just plays and plays with my son and her daughter. I envy her enthusiasm. I try to get on the floor and play with my son, but I just feel like I do not know what to do with the toys! You are lucky you still know how to play. Enjoy your time with Wyatt!
I don't know if you could have spent too much time with him. I was a single parent at 24 and I worked two jobs. I often wonder if the fact that I spent the first 7 yrs of his life working 2 jobs and then the next 6 trying to build my business made him feel
2nd best? I swear it is so hard as a parent. B was so much more needy than T is. He would much rather be doing something by himself than with me. He reads, plays video games, reads some more and talks to me here and there. B always wanted so much attention and I know that didn't make him an addict but I sure wish I could or would have spent more time with him.
I have a beautiful cedar hope chest my husband made long ago. Over the years, whenever the kids had school papers, or made me cards, gave me a flower, etc. I would stick in that chest. In it, is over 30 years of their lives (my daughter is 33). It is extremely emotional for me to go through it, for BOTH of them.
Interesting how Tori said the addict was so needy as a child. My son also could not entertain himself, while my daughter would play for hours by herself. I bet if we listed personality traits from all the addict kids there would be many similarities.
I teach pre-k. I thought my kids would have fun playing with my son's old Legos, so I brought them to school. They had a blast digging through them, building cities, creating stories and letting their imaginations run wild. I sat and watched them while my heart broke a little bit more. :(
BMelon,
It gets easier as they get older. I was NEVER like your friend. I was not one of those peppy enthusiastic types. I think other than playing Legos my time with Keven was spent reading, hiking, at the beach, taking drives (my secret way of infiltrating his brain with classic rock!) and playing board games. In Legos, I would follow his lead. "Playing" with Wyatt means letting him boss me around and tell me what to do and I compliantly do it. He's a sweet kid but very particular about "playing".
Lucien has a wonderful mother, the best mother for him. We all feel like we could be better sometimes, but if you love him and want what's best for him - that's all that matters.
Tori,
You had it much harder than I did. I was older when I had Keven (30!) and I made the choice to move back home with dear old mom so I could work part-time and be home with him more. Not everyone has that option, I was lucky. I gradually worked longer hours as he got older and went to school. Obviously spending time with your kid has nothing to do with them becoming an addict or not - Kev got plenty attention from me, his grandmother and his aunt.
Topper. OH WOW. I could have sworn I replied to your comment last night. I sat and thought about you after I read it but guess I never wrote anything. Thank you for reading my blog, I see that you sort of have one :) Those wistful feelings can stir up some pain. I'm sending you a hug.
Lou, I love cedar chests! Everything in them ends up smelling so good, its a nostalgic scent for me, my mom has one and a lot our things are in it. I think its so great you saved so many of their things, now you all have their lifetime of memories.
I wonder about the list of traits too. We should do that. It seems like someone did a post on that once, Ron? Shoot, maybe it was me. Who knows.
Keven was half and half. He sometimes could play for hours alone and sometimes wanted company.
Notmyboy....I understand that feeling of your heart breaking a little more. I can barely stand to look at photos of his innocent little face these days. I'm glad you brought the Legos in and gave some fun times to your kids.
You know how much I love legos. :-) Nothing quite like them. One of the things we're REALLY looking forward to doing with our Daughter. ;o) That's so sweet of Keven to give some of his childhood joy to his friend's kids. :)
I don't think it's possible to spend too much time playing with your kids--and I think how much or little time you spend with them has very little to do with their future addictions. That's just another way to beat ourselves up for things our of our control. That would be easy though--just spend X amount of time doing ______ with your kids and they won't grow up with a disease. :( Shame life doesn't work like that.
Hope your visit is a sweet one.
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