Today was suppose to be a normal day at court, but it wasn't. No one from the usual team was there (the judge, his PO or his attorney). The PO that was there took one look at Keven and thought he was high. I thought he looked high too ... BUT ... its a known and understood fact that Keven often looks high even when he's not because he's on meds that give him that heavy-lidded look.
But since this guy didn't know that about Keven he kept him after court and drug tested him, and lo and behold: oxy and methadone.
He has been tested THREE TIMES A WEEK at rehab and is coming up clean. But apparently their test doesn't look for oxy or methadone?
Lucky for me there were two guys escorting him today, so I had their moral support, but honestly I think one of them was more upset than me. Keven has been doing so good at Unidos and had recently had some serious breakthroughs and was working on his issues. Yet, the addiction monster is still living in him.
What this probably means for his future:
- getting kicked out of Opportunity Court
- serving time in jail (6 months? 16 months? who knows)
- having his felony remain on his record for life
I just found out one of his best friends from the program is also in custody right now, a kid that was excelling and surprising everyone with how far he'd come with his sobriety, but he relapsed too. I hope they can see each other in there, for the other guy's sake, he's not comfortable in jail whereas for Keven, its his second home. Ugh.
Praying for all our loved ones - and for US.
Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara
15 comments:
I am so sorry, Barbara. I know how hard this is for you. But, it is Keven going to jail, not you. He is obviously not ready to embrace recovery, for whatever reason. However, no reason for you not to enjoy your life and your freedom. Love, hope and peace and prayers for you and Keven.
I am so sorry Barbara! Who knows maybe he will continue with his 9 lives...it is possible he has a couple more breaks coming. I am not sure how he does it but he always seems to land on his feet.
That made my heart hurt! I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this. Hang on!
Terri
Thanks. As the saying goes "it is what it is". I am going to miss Unidos and all the awesome guys there. I got a lot of hugs when I was there getting his stuff. They loved Kev, he'd been there for almost 6 months total (not counting the jail time in between). I know it changed him for the better, it was not a waste of time at all.
oh Barbara....I'm so sad, and so sorry. I don't know what to say,..my heart hurts for you, and for him too. Especially when you say that he'd been starting to address his pain. I know that's the heart of it. I am praying for you both. This hurts.
I am so sorry, Barbara. I can only imagine your pain, hurt, sadness and perhaps anger. I don't know but...maybe it is just another step your son has to take on his journey to recovery. Either way, I will continue to pray for you and for Keven.
Take care!
Shelley in SK
Damn.:( Try oh please try to care for you you you in these next days and weeks. Keven is safe. Now it's time for you. Just you. Kris B
I understand your disappointment....please take care of yourself...try and focus on you and Keven has made his decisions for himself. It's so hard for us moms that love our boys and hope/wait for them to see/go back to something like they were. I feel your pain, and cry for you. But we have to pick up and move on, we can't live our life for them, we only have them for a time, then it is their decision for their own lives. I pray for you.
Maybe he will figure it out eventually. I hope so. But he isn't ready yet and still figures that he can get by with things. What did he expect or does he simply not care at the moment? Anyway, take care of yourself. You have gone over and above. Time to let him step up and take the consequences.
Oh Lovey, I am so sorry. ((HUG)) You have truly done all that you can do. Now its up to him. VJ calls jail "protective custody." At this point for us jail wouldn't be that upsetting.
My thought and prayers are with you and Keven at this time. Stay strong Barbara.
In our case, eventually he got tired of jail. Eventually. I'm sorry it takes so long for many of our kids. Try to let it go, it's out of your hands.
PS don't even think of paying for another lawyer!!
I hate addiction.
I'm sorry Barbara. UGH!
I will never understand the draw towards drugs. Not in a million years. Never! My heart hurts for you, as if I am you. I'm sitting here in tears. The fear in me is so deep for my own son.
Break after break after break after break...what the hell!!! My son told me point blank that if he could he would use for the rest of his life. The only reason he wants to stop is because of how badly it screws up his life. And even with knowing the consequences, he still find his way back to the needle time and time again.
HUGS, PEACE, PRAYERS
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