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You know that they say: The third time's the charm! Yesterday Kev asked to stay in Recovery Court and go to another 90 day program, followed by sober living. Part of me is very pleased that he made this decision and part of me is nervous because I know it means that he is seriously worried about his sobriety (which he admits). So lets hope this experience is positive and puts him closer down the path to true recovery.
He still has one year to finish the four phases of Recovery Court which, if you don't mess up, takes 18 months. He's already been it for 17 months and never made it past phase two.
I don't want to give the name of the new place on my blog but its the Spanish word for "united" so I will call it United. It will be very different from the cushy environment he had at the last place. United has 15 beds and caters mostly to Hispanic or homeless men. Its located in "Little Saigon" so it will also be a cultural experience (instead of walking down the street to McDonald's, there will Vietnamese food).
Its further for me to drive and visit, but that's okay. He's not allowed visitors for the first 30 days.
Now here's the DOWNSIDE: United shares a building with another rehab, a much bigger one that has about 75 people. Guess who called me last night and told me he's going there for 90 days? ANTHONY. And there's another old drug friend who is already there. They will only see each other when both facilities have a break at the same time and they are all outside smoking. But --- its a bit of a concern to me.
In other news: I haven't done anything creative lately so I am going to get out my paints and my pens today and see what happens.
Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara
8 comments:
Barbara,
None of this is your doing. Kev's recovery belongs to him and if he joins back up with Ant then his problems are his. If Ant is not taking this serious then his problems are his.
The counselors WILL tell both of them that they must leave and bury the past and bury those relationships. If neither one of them pay heed to that counsel then they both will end up in the same situations they find themselves in today but without options, their future will be dictated to them by someone out of their control.
Barbara, my husband is a horse vet and once we had a problem horse and so I started scouring through equine behaviour books looking for a solution. In a ferrel herd, the mares (mama's) are at the lead while the stallions bring up the rear. The fillies and colts (let's face it usually colts) who misbehave are warned a few times by the mares, but when they don't come around to mama's way of thinking they are run out of the herd. This is where they are most vulnerable and where THEY learn. So, when I kicked my son out just before Thanksgiving and refused to give him his coat (it had lots of pockets for hiding things...) It made it a little easier and it was outside of "our herd" where he learned what was worth fighting for and that he could fight it. Let him think you trust his ability to fight. And.....go paint!
Well, Barbara there is nothing you can do about it. Frankly, I don't think Anthony will last long there (sorry) so maybe that problem will be solved. It doesn't sound ideal, but I'm assuming Keven will be under court supervision (curfews, drug testing). I don't believe putting users around their using friends is ever positive to recovery.
Please, Keven, prove me wrong.
I sure wish that Anthony was not going to be there, but there is nothing that you can do about that Hopefully Keven will get the program this time. I wish him the best.
How soon is all of this happening? Hope it goes well...
I'm really glad to hear Keven took the program, and I'm so grateful he had the option. Maybe it will "take" this time. Love and hugs to you, hoping for the best for you!
I hope it "takes" too.
Glad to hear you were doing something creative. Don't know about you, but for me it's a bit of a lifeline xoxo
Homeless men may have a lot of truth to share with Keven and we never know how God is shifting things to put the right people in our life. Go paint!
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