Do any of you remember the story of Austin Box, the Oklahoma University linebacker who had a promising future as a football player? He died from an OD in May. There is an update on the story, part of it contains the results of the toxicology report. Check this out, its alarming and sad how many drugs this young man was taking and that no one realized what was going on with him:An autopsy found the painkillers oxymorphone, morphine, hydrocodone, hydromorphone, oxycodone and the anti-anxiety drug alprazolam in Box’s system, and cited “mixed drug toxicity” as a probable cause of death.I've gotten to know someone at Teensavers, a company that created a comprehensive and easy to use home drug testing kit. This is not an advertisement for them (although it may sound like one) I just firmly believe in drug testing BEFORE your child has the opportunity to get addicted. We all know how easily it happens and the devastating results.
I know its too late for most of us, and sometimes I wonder if it would have made a difference or not, but we don't have a heck of a lot of weapons in our arsenal, and to me this is a good one. It may seem like a drastic measure and many parents would feel uncomfortable with it, but I hope that it becomes more mainstream. If your child, at an age you determine, knew that they would be drug tested randomly a few times a month it may PREVENT them from every trying. And if they refuse, you know you already have a problem and can get a head start at recovery.
It just breaks my heart to know kids are dying all across our country, and from the looks of things, its not getting any better. Most of the people I've talked to (many of you who read here) agree that the anti-drug campaigns in schools don't make much of a difference and sometimes even spark an interest in doing drugs! (that was my boy!)
The people at Teensavers are passionate about all this as well, they understand and that's why they started this company. So if you know of anyone looking for a good drug test, check them out - they are available at Amazon and some pharmacies.
Do you think drug testing early is a good idea?
Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara
6 comments:
The idea of drug testing kids before there is a problem makes me queasy. Kind of like people who read their kids diaries just in case they are doing something wrong. Or, who won't let them get a driver's license so they won't have accidents.
It's scary, hard bringing up kids and I know that we want to do what we can to protect them but, like everything else, there's a downside.
I say, when you start seeing the signs of drug use than all bets are off. Change in behaviors, friends, disinterest in their passions, cleanliness, honesty, those are all things that would send up red flags. And, I wouldn't hesitate to ask for some pee then and there.
But, I'd want to be able to say more than "I'm scared" to a teenager trying out their need for privacy and stabs at adulthood.
It's that same balancing act that all of parenting is. My older son is a daredevil. A rock climber and a lover of any extreme sport. I seem to have spent his whole childhood trying to teach him some caution. My younger son is, by nature, very cautious. I seem to have spent his whole life encouraging him to dare just a little more.
This feels like the same thing. Trying to keep them safe but trying to help them be strong individuals with the notion that they are worthy of trust. Until I can't.
jackie
Jackie, thank you so very much for sharing your thoughts on this. I hear what you're saying and I can't say I disagree at all.
Unfortunately, everything in my life as a parent has been colored by addiction - I see it all very differently now. The thing is, I taught my son to avoid drugs (along with all the other things I tried to instill in him) but like many young teens he chose to ignore Mom because, after all, he knew way more than me about life (right!). And when we're talking about drugs, especially heroin and/or meth, we're talking about life and death. Its not not a matter of keeping them safe - its a matter of keeping them alive.
I wanted to respect his privacy and trust him, but once I learned (at age 15) what he was up to I regularly snooped in his room and online to see what he was doing. I found out some alarming things.
I think you speak for a lot of parents. I speak for the ones that would give anything to turn back time and try to steer their kids in another direction. But its too late and...it may not have helped...but it would be worth the try. Glad you stopped by here, thanks.
I am going to stand with Jackie on this one. I think that once the trust is lost, and especially over something so serious as heroin or meth...then, all privacy bets are off. But, I think that "mandatory drug testing" for your kid is not going to help steer them in the right direction, but will instead cause them to start hiding things. Most kids will experiment, and I think an open honesty about it all is important. I often wonder how I will handle the issue of drugs and alcohol with my son. I think that he is genetically predisposed to addiction, and in light of my "public" addict past, I think I need to be completely open and honest with him. I hope to have my memoir published by the time my son is a teen, and I often wonder if I will struggle with this addiction issue being such a part of my public identity. I do not want to endorse anything, or condone anything either. I do not want him to be afraid to tell me he took a puff of a joint, passed around at a party...I don't want him to have fear my reaction to a couple of beers. But, I want him to be educated about it all, about the real truth behind it, so he can make his won decision. And hopefully, my honesty with him about my history, he will be steered in the right direction. I think one advantage I will have to most parents out there is that he probably will not be able to pull the wool over my eyes...an addict always sees the look of drugs and alcohol, we recognize it, we can read it, and sometimes it s almost like we can smell it.
Well, we did have knowledge of our son's drug use when he was 15 and he was drug tested, both while on probation by the courts and using home drug tests kits and it didn't help or stop his activities.
Things are a bit better now a year and a half later, but we have actually been trying to control him less--not more. That what I think the drugs tests promise parents-a way to control our children. And I personally know how well that works! LOL! Didn't cause it, can't Contol it, can't cure it.
Although I do think the privacy issues are important, at a certain point I think that I--and a lot of parents--want to stop our children's drug use by any means that we can. However, I can attest that it seemed to make things worse, definitely not better. So from a purely practical standpoint I'm against it.
Looking back and thinking that there's something you could have/should have done to protect your child is hard on yourself--and certainly doesn't seem to be true in your case.
Hey Sweet Lemonade, I wonder what it will be like in the years that your son is a teen. I hope that its better. This heroin issue has gotten worse in the last decade so that means it can get better (lol, ok that's me thinking positive, but I have to). Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.
Hi SS, Thanks for the comment. I had a feeling most people would disagree with me on this one. (I think a few have even come out of the woodwork and that's awesome!). Its true what you say about control. I'm glad things are better with your son and I hope they continue to get better until the problem is gone. I just want to believe in something that will stop kids in the future. But we all did it, didn't we? I know I did, my drug of choice was LSD! I wasn't a typical teenager and could rarely get anyone to do it with me so I eventually stopped using it after a few years. Anyhow, thanks again and best to you and your family.
I have to side with Barbara on this. In my experience if you wait until you start to see the signs of drug use or wait until the trust is lost it is too late. Of course my opinion is clouded by four years of dealing with drug use. Drug testing might not have made a difference, but I will never know. Had I know earlier, I could have gotten my son into treatment earlier while he was a minor. I too had the family history and talked with my son sharing stories of his uncle and the mess drugs made of his life. It made no difference. Most parents who have never dealt with this nightmare would never consider drug testing their children because it could never happen to them.
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