World Suicide Prevention Day - Sept. 10, 2011

Suicide is something very close to my heart.  That may sound weird, but what I mean is - I've lost four people to it, all for different reasons:

- One cousin came back from Vietnam addicted to heroin and with PTSD (which they didn't recognize back then) plus coming home to all the anti-war hate.  He used a gun and shot himself.

- Another cousin was depressed after a messy divorce, and I believe he may have been an alcoholic.  He tried to use carbon monoxide poisoning in his garage, but his father found him before he was completely dead.  He's been institutionalized ever since.

Both cousins were a lot older so I was not real close with them, although the second one and I were sometimes  closer than we probably should have been as cousins.

The other two suicides hurt far more because both of these guys were like brothers to me.

The first friend, Red, killed himself as a result of a combination of mental illness and abusing drugs.  He was 20 years old at the time, I was 17.  He told me that if he didn't lose his virginity by the time he was 21 he would have to kill himself because that's what the voices were telling him.  I didn't know what to think, and for years I blamed myself for not "helping him" out.  Instead I talked to his brother and we agreed that one of us would know where he was at all times and keep him nearby until after his birthday was over.  The night before his birthday we all went to a party in San Diego (it was Christmas season) and when we got there I asked his brother where he was, his face went pale and he said "he's with you" and I said "NO!  He told me he was with YOU!".  His brother drove the hour back home and found him in the bathroom.  He'd used a shotgun.

I miss you, Dougie

Lastly, and only a few years ago, I lost my wonderful friend Doug.  I loved him so much, we shared our deepest secrets - stuff we couldn't tell anyone else.  We talked almost daily for years (he lived in Canada) and I knew he was depressed.  He's admitted to me that he was suicidal but then dropped it.  After 6 months I forgot all about him saying it.  But the SIGNS were all there - he sold his condo, he was making photo albums for his kids of their lives, and he sold his little red Corvette.  I should have got it, but it was right at the time Keven started using and I was less attentive to Doug.  When I got the call, I was devastated.  He took a handful of Xanax and taped a plastic bag over his head.

Then there was Keven's two attempts that may or may not have been halfhearted.

This is copied from Debra Serani's blog and explains the purpose of World Suicide Prevention Day:

Though suicide is the most preventable kind of death, more than 3,000 people die by suicide each day—more than all the deaths caused by accidents, wars, and homicides around the world, combined.

World Suicide Prevention Day was created to help bring awareness about suicide on a global level. This awareness day is held on September 10th each year. Disseminating information, improving education and training, and decreasing stigma are important tasks in such an endeavour. This year's theme is ”Preventing Suicide in Multicultural Societies”.

So if I know 4 people who've died from it (not counting acquaintances or co-workers), then you probably know someone who has too and understand the unique grief that comes along with it.  I have a lot of empathy for those that kill themselves.  I know many say  its a selfish act, but when a person is that depressed or despondent, they are incapable of rationalizing in a healthy manner.

If you know someone contemplating it, like I did with my two friends, reach out do all you can to help.  It may not make a difference, but at least you can rest knowing you tried.  Kind of like with our addicts, we do what we can but its ultimately up to them.

Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara