Outcome of Court Today

For those of you who like the bottom line and want to skip the details, skip to the red font below :)


Just got back from court. It was good to see him in the little cage, but he didn't look as good as he did last time, I think he's growing some weird type of beard or else he just hasn't shaved. We are not suppose to communicate with the inmates but I said "I love you" and "Hang in there" with my eyes. He said "I love you" and "This is not the way I thought it would go...." to me.

I had asked the PD what he thought the outcome would be and he said it was a very delicate situation since he's been before this court so many times in the last few months. When it was Keven's turn the PD and DA approached the bench and had a rather lengthy conversation with the judge (the longest one I have ever seen). I tried to read facial expressions and eavesdrop but it was hard to tell what was going on.

Bottom line: Keven remains in jail till next Thursday, at that time we will go before a different judge to be evaluated for drug court. If he is not accepted to drug court (i.e. for whatever reason the judge decides it would not be appropriate for him) then he gets 180 days in jail. No bargaining, that 's the MINIMUM.

No matter what happens he is now on formal probation for the next three years.

As we walked out of court I saw the PD and he said to me, "He's got a serious drug problem and a bad attitude and nothing is going to help his drug problem till his attitude changes". Yeah, see ya, have a nice day....

Sadly, the PD is right. He DOES have both of those things. He told me on the phone last night that he doesn't like the 12 Steps or AA cause he doesn't think its for him, he does not believe in their philosophy. I can tell you what he doesn't like: humility, powerlessness, admitting his life is unmanageable....basically every thing the program stands for. I pointed out that MILLIONS of people ALL OVER THE WORLD in ALL WALKS of LIFE have benefited from the Program, but my son is different (yeah right....according to him he is).

So I feel really numb right now. I don't want to think or feel. I am disappointed in my son. I feel bad for him cause I know he did not choose to be an addict. I feel scared because at this point if I had to wager a bet on his future - it would not look too good.

I am going to do some research on "Drug Court". I am fairly familiar with it and know one thing for sure: ITS A TOUGH PROGRAM and adults rarely make it through in one year, teens have a very low success rate in it. So there is a good chance the judge will deem that Keven may be better off in jail for a 6 month attitude adjustment rather than the intense Drug Court program.

One more week of peace for my household and he will either be back...or not. I love my son so much, I just want him to be BETTER whatever that takes.