I had no idea how taxing both emotionally and physically this project would be. I am tired and feel sick and I am only half done. I am creating a document for the judge that will evaluate K's case next week. Its a summary of his mental health history. Its making me realize that I knew something was wrong, I took action, but I did not push hard enough for results and/or he seemed better. Wish me luck.
I need to feel better, my boyfriend arrives tomorrow for a week long stay to celebrate my birthday.
I wonder if K will be out for my big day? (50!) I kind of hope so, but I kind of hope not. Sigh. Its never easy having a concrete describable thought when it relates to loving a heroin addict!
5 comments:
Love is..... A universal thing given from one person to another or from a group of people to another group or individual. Three types of love are available the greatest type is unconditional love that God has for us. The love a Mother has for her children. Love is given to and received to those who are deserving and sometimes given to those who are not so deserving, this is unconditional and hard to comprehend. Keep loving your son, this is part of who you are.
It is so hard to want my son included in fun activities with the family, but also so hard to not have him with us. It is so conflicting because on the one hand, you love them and want them to be a part of your life and all that comes with that. BUT, you don't want all your good times ruined or diminished by watching your son nod off or be obnoxious. I say this becasue this is how I feel about my son, so I know how you feel.
I hope you can get the summary done and take good care of yourself so you can feel better before your man gets there:) Hey, live it up on your 50th!! WOOHOO.
Welcome to the 50+ Club! I had the big one last year in November. What day is yours? We need to have a virtual birthday party!
How are you feeling this morning? You are working on a project that I have been wanting to do myself. I want to write my son's story-- when and how this whole drug addiction started. I think I have prolonged starting this project, because I'd have to relive it. Then again, hindsight is 20/20. Just don't blame yourself, okay? YOU are not the reason for your son's situation. Maybe we've all missed a few cues, but ultimately we cannot blame ourselves.
I had a wonderful 50th birthday, and my son wasn't a part of it. Not by choice, but he was living with his dad at the time. I hope you enjoy your birthday and do something for YOU.
Draining. Heart wrenching. When something gets broken along the way, we all second-guess our thoughts and actions. In hindsight, it's all so clear. Your best years are ahead.
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