I feel nervous for K right now.
We (the nurse at PH and I) are both concerned that his meds are off and were both thinking the same thing today: he needs a better doctor. We are working on that. I just hope he's okay between now and the first of the year when he can get an apt. I hate seeing him suffer.
Its weird - seeing him high and using I had so much anger and some compassion. Now that he's not using and his mental health issues are so obvious, I feel only compassion. Feeling compassionate scares me too....will I cross the line and enable? Will I somehow mess up?
Ugh. I hate this. I hate worrying about how to treat my son instead of just allowing my natural instincts to guide me. I hate not knowing what he needs. In some ways its easier when they are using because its black and white, right now it feels so gray.
Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara
8 comments:
You explained that so well. (hugs).. a million hugs.
I hope that he gets the help he needs to deal with the medical issues. Hang in there and take care of yourself.
Worry changes nothing. God can and will change everything for those who trust in Him. My prayers for peace, love, and understanding are with you and also for K.
Barbara, you WILL be able to tell the difference as to if it is just the mental illness issues or drug use. My brother is dual diagnosis as you have read and he is a very severe case. When he is on his meds and not using, he may not act right, but it is VERY different than when he is using and not taking his meds. Try to find the right fit for K with a doctor. Mental illness can be tricky to treat but it can be done, especially if the person afflicted is committed to getting better no matter what. In that respect it is alot like addiction, they have to want to be better and keep searching until the right meds/doctor fit comes along. I am praying for K and you. Email me if you need to talk more about dual diagnosis issues. Take care!!
Take care of you today.jeNN
I struggled with this for many years, always trying to figure out what was mental illness, what was drug use, and how to fix it all. Finally, I decided to let the professionals figure it out. I think they must hear a lot of cases just like my son (even though I like to think he is unique), and I have to trust their opinion. I would read stuff on the internet and do all sorts of diagnosing of my own. Unfortunately that never worked.
Thanks for these comments, they were all helpful - I appreciate each of you so MUCH!
I must say I feel more compassion for Keven's mental health issues too. Such a hard row to hoe. Hopefully he can get his meds straight and feel somewhat normal (whatever that is). If he is using, that throws things off even more. I know it is hard to wait when it takes so much to get the balance right. Hopefully he can see the light at the end of the tunnel soon.
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