Thank you all for your comments. Thank you Lou for your knowledge of the court system and how things work. I feel better. I got the tears out and am back "in the moment". He is safe. PH is working hard to get him back. It will work out. I spoke with him, he sounded okay. I love that kid so much.
I'm crying my eyes out right now. PH had to give his bed away to the next person on the waiting list. I understand they have to follow rules, but he will probably be out tomorrow and now he has no where to go but home or possibly back to jail to wait. I am upset. I just want him to go back there, it was helping him so much. He waited 90 frigging days in jail for a bed to open there and now he's back on a waiting list.
I felt so hopeful and now I'm just scared to death of what could happen if he comes home...he won't want to leave. He's not rational. damn it.
10 comments:
It just doesn't seem fair, does it? I'm so sorry. You don't need this to worry about. I'm praying that a bed opens up immediately for Keven.
hugs.. Keep the Faith. It is obvious you feel it is too soon to come home. Be VOCAL about that to everyone. Maybe better back to Jail and wait again for a bed.. (at least no drugs???) (hugs)
bettyann
No words.. just feeling with you Barbara..
My heart goes out to you :( This is a major disappointment, I can imagine your despair. The only thing that comes to my mind right now, is that God's will and plan isn't always the same as ours. And hopefully whatever He is planning right now will have a better outcome than what we planned.
Maybe what K needs isn't at PH, or there's a reason why God took him out of there NOW, but maybe he'll go back after that concern is gone. When I don't understand WHY something like that would happen I think of an old song by Amy Grant about "Angels watching over me, every step I take..." and it says, "a reckless car ran out of gas before it came my way."
I'm praying for you and K!!!!! (and mom is!!!)
Stay present cause we never know what is going to happen and be sure it is all for a reason. I know you know this already it is just harder to see in the moment of what we mom's consider "crisis". He is still safe and under care. I try (emphasis on try) to ask myself "is there an emergency right this very second"? If not, I try to keep present, it is the best we can do. I am praying Barbara right this second for you and K. (((HUGE HUGS)))
Lisa, none of this seems fair...having to deal with a child that has these problems. I don't allow myself to sit around feeling sorry for myself but sometimes I want to yell "its NOT FAIR!".
Thanks for caring.
Bob, thanks, friend.
Lou, THANK YOU. I would NOT want him coming home now!!!!
Heather's Mom (and grandmother!) Thank you so much. Wow, I have not listened to Amy Grant in so long! That brings back a memory I will share with you later. (If Keven was a girl his name would have been Sharaya after her song about her friend by that name...)
Mom of OA, Thank you also! I needed all your reminders today, they grounded me and calmed me.
ALL OF YOU PEOPLE ROCK MY WORLD!!
(which reminds me I wrote Bruce the letter and am trying to find his address).
Bettyann, sorry! I missed your comment first time around. I have been vocal - they are probably sick of me, but I can tell they truly care about Kev.
Barbara, I'm glad that PH is looking for a bed. I believe that things will work out. There is a plan. Let go..
Every time I envisioned my daughter's perfect path to recovery, things got crazy and I was devastated. God's plan may not be your plan. There's nothing else you can do but let go and pray - or drugs will drive you also to the grave.
The system is cold and heartless at times. God has a place for K. Keep Hope, keep faith. Praying for you.
Post a Comment