Just a quickie: visited K tonight and he was down again :(
Talked to Ant today and he was a bit down too :( And I was wrong about his age, he turned 22 the other day, not 23.
I think I understand part of what's going on with K. I am so not ready for him to come home in February. It sounds too soon to me.
Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara
7 comments:
Addicts control every situation where someone lives in fear of their chaos and controlling threats of self-harm or drug abuse. Addicts do not live in control of an environment with strong boundaries. If you are not so ready, it would be a favor to him to direct him to a sober living facility. I know you love him. There are two people who will be trying to find a place to live soon - your son and an addict. The first is nice and fun and loving. The second is ruthless and wants to kill your son. Maybe that's a way of looking at boundaries. I understand your 'not so ready' all too well. Don't let the addict wear you down.
Madison, I know you are right. I feel him trying to control already.
Yes, one of the first mistakes I made when Zach got out of jail was to allow him to come home. My counselor told me to tell him to find a sober living place or mission or whatever, just not my home. Well, you see how well I listened and where it has gotten me:) I have beens stronger than I thought I would be and he is not at my house much, and shortly I believe it will be even less like not at all. It is sad and hard, but the best thing Barbara. We are here for you no matter what.
Shawna, wow. Thanks. I needed that!!!
Midnight touched on something I was going to say...teenage boys have moods even when they are clean and sober...trying to figure them out is a major chore...of course being an addict adds more to your plate with K...but his moods - look past them they could be him being 19
a lot can happen between now and feb. And I totally agree with Madison. Having been there, an addict....she's right. It's the kinder to not have him home if you're not ready but wait and see how Jan. plays out. Sending you hugs. Sarah
I just read both this post and the last one - I've been wondering about that - after recovery through treatment, do they still retain some of the verbal behaviors? Or will we still have our days of walking on eggshells? Well, my daughter is no where near rehab, but for you, what Bond said should be taken into account. I think a lot can happen between now and february - he's still young - his days don't go as fast! Hopefully he'll be in a much stabler place by the end of january with more sober experiences under his belt.
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