She didn't want to tell me and add burden to what I am going through with K, but because of him I feel like I can support her through it better. I have studied it, witnessed it, I have learned so much. I don't know how it feels, but I've been around it enough to understand what she's going through, what's she's up against.
She was with me when I gave birth to K, they were very close when he was a kid, we'd go to her house to swim all the time, went to Catalina with her several times, even went to London with her once.
CLARIFICATION: What I meant by that sentence above (that I can see came out all wrong), is:
I know K can't HELP her, I just kind of picture him hugging her and KNOWING what she's going through and that in some sad way it renews the bond that they used to have years ago before he turned into a teen and she moved so far away. I guess I should have been more clear. I picture him more being empathetic since he knows what it feels like to withdraw, etc.
I feel horrible for my friend and I am here for her. Never a dull moment around here.
Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara
11 comments:
You're so right. This crosses all ages. So many wonderful people. I hope your friend meets and receives wisdome from a person who has walked in recovery for many years.
I misspelled wisdom. That gives me a chance to add that I hope K does too. Recovering addicts have so much wisdom.
I've always heard only people in long term recovery should be helping others. It takes a long time to achieve a different kind of thinking that qualifies as "recovery." I personally feel newly clean people are too vulnerable to help others.
CLARIFICATION: I know Keven can't HELP her, I just kind of picture him hugging her and KNOWING what she's going through and that in some sad way it renews the bond that they used to have years ago before he turned into a teen and she moved so far away. I guess I should have been more clear. I picture him more being empathetic since he knows what it feels like to withdraw, etc.
I wonder if her not bringing her pills (or not bringing enough for her entire trip, as you said she is in withdrawal) was a cry for help...
I hope that she detoxes and stays clean. She has to want it though.
I don't know if this could renew the "bond between them or not." That's emotional and a lot of renewal has to do with what broke the bond in the first place. I do think that K is too vulnerable for this at this point.
I continue to pray for you, K and your friend.
Hey Dad, I can see you're in one of your moods :) I hope that made you smile, it was meant to. You know I always appreciate your views.
Bond, I wonder too. She brought some but ran out, which she knew she would do. Its so confusing. I try not to ask "why" much these days.
Syd. Amen. She says she does, but they all say that. I believe her because I think she means it at this moment. She also knows she may use again tomorrow. That's why one day at time (or hour) is so crucial. I am going to tell her sister about your blog.
Lisa, Yeah. I know what you mean. I have to think it through. I think I will just mention to K when I see him tonight that she's in town. I know he loves her a lot, when he had surgery at age 8 she was in his room when he got out (I was still downstairs talking to doctor) and the nurse asked him "who's that?" and K said "Oh, that's our best friend". I'll never forget that :)
Barbara... my heart says you need a break from all of this..
Some of the spiritual books I read talk about surrounding yourself with healthy emotional people (and healthy emotionally people don't get involved with these drugs) (hugs).
I won't be friends or stay friends with anyone with addictions or other issues repeatedly. I have all strong women friends in recovery (al-anon) or just life recovery or just always balanced.
I had enough growing up with it; my daughter; my ex husband; ex-boyfriends.. that now I just prayer for others but won't stay with anyone that has any of this at all in their lives. Gosh I don't even stay with smokers.
I just want a more serene life with good emotional healthy people.. at 48 .. almost 49.
I dropped friends that keep going back to verbally and/or emotionally abusive men or women.
I feel happier.
I needed a break from all of the past.
My daughter moved downstairs with her brother .. and I'm staying out of her business. I don't want to get involved. Men drama; financial drama and on and on. She is down on her luck .. because she choose to stay with all of the nonsense. I'm hoping tough love keeps her strong. And I'm tired of hearing who is doing Coke and who is doing this or that..
I'm hoping she surrounds herself with good people.. and she does not get incessantly involved with alcohol again.
My mentor says life should be like paradise and to surround myself with LIKE MINDED folks. (just some things to consider).
Hugs.
I hope she is ready also because it is a pretty obvious sign that she is reaching out, by not bringing enough pills to get her through her trip. It may be too much for her at this point, she can't physically be feeling well, and she is VERY vulnerable. Not sure how that would work out for K as he is vulnerable too. Depending on how long she is in the country for, maybe wait it out. Much prayers for you, K and your lovely friend.
Thank you, Renee. It looks like K will not get to see her so its a moot point. She will only be here for two more weeks and he will not have a "day pass" on a day that she will be around. I guess what I really wanted was a reunion.
Post a Comment