Tonight at PH Family Group we learned about family roles. I am a "Placater/People Pleaser". No surprise there. K is the "Acting Out Child". Its about your original family of origin but often you keep that same set of traits, which I have.
Its also called Co-Dependent - big time.
Found out he's going to be released to come home Feb. 17.
After 6 months of having him gone - he will be back.
I have mixed feelings. I want him to succeed. I want him to be himself again. The meds he's on are strong and the look in his eyes tonight was dull. I guess that's an improvement over "anxious".
Here is a PDF of what we talked about tonight, maybe you can recognize your family role:
Family Roles by Claudia Black Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara
8 comments:
I have seen this chart before. It is a shock the first time you see it so clear cut. My daughter is the responsible child, of course Andrew is the acting out one. The whole thing makes me feel guilty again, so I try to just stay focused on what I can change today.
Barbara; I ask the question, Are you ready for this? Codependency is not healthy and is not good when you are going to have K in recovery in your home. The enabling, codependent relationship will cut his chances of recovery. Like a broken record, Once again, I suggest Celebrate Recovery to you. You need to look after you. You need recovery as well. Praying for you and for K.
Found you through The Girl you Don't Bring Home to Mama. My heart goes out to you and all you've been through. I hope your son gets the help he needs to stay clean.
I don't love labels, but I turn out to a mix of Responsible/Placater, which is such a lovely mix, don't ya think!! I know all about your mixed feelings, try to trust yourself and what you know is right for you.
I will keep K and you in my prayers that when he does come home you both succeed in your roles and goals..
Maybe Keven & Ant can get a place together? I'd have a very hard time with not letting him come home, but that is a decision you have to make...
I will say, what Dad said about the boundaries/rules, I'd even write them out. And, like those two young addict adults told me a couple weeks ago, tell him ONE chance.
I like to have confidence in him that he will succeed. Whether he lives with you or not.
I've been away from blogging for a while. Just wanted to send you hugs, and please know I'm thinking and praying for you.
Happy New Year.
Thanks to one and all for these comments. I consider ever word said here and roll them around in my brain with all the other stuff I have accumulated in there :)
I am exhausted today for some reason.
Hope we all have a good weekend!
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