For example, he's got a few friends over (two girls, two guys) and I can hear them in his room laughing, talking. Its weird. In a good way. He's looking through his plugs because he wants to put them back in. I don't like the look of them but that's the least of my concerns.
He seems happy today. He's smiled a lot. We got to hear his friends compliment his "new room". One of them is playing "Come As You Are" by Nirvana on Ant's guitar. Feels a lot like old times except I am not wondering if there's drugs in there....I know there's not.
We had a very positive conversation, initiated by him, about his future, about staying clean, about how he thinks the best place to make new friends would be the local community college. Sounds good to me.
One day at a time. He can do this. He wants it. He's doing it. I am going to have faith and be positive and hopeful, all the while knowing that he could at any time, slip backwards.
I have a lot of compassion for addicts that feel like they've failed because they "blew it". I know that feeling too from making many poor choices in my life. But we're all given a new start every time we decided not repeat the mistake. Unfortunately when this involves drugs, that one time you "slip" could be your last chance.
Note to "you know who you are", PLEASE be good to yourself.
Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara
15 comments:
Sounds like a good day!
Tom
recoveryhelpdesk.com
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So glad to hear the update on his visit for today! Very positive :)
love & huggs!
Thanks, Tom. It was good but the drive back up there was quiet and kinda sad, left me feeling depressed.
I like Keven's comment on going back to school. I agree that he could slip and I can only imagine how wondering if where he is going and who he is with will contribute to that comes into your mind. Keven needs structure at this point. He is already in the habit of it now so try and keep some going in his life. He will have to attend meetings which I hope will help. I hope you go with him. I always think back to those parents of my friends when I was young that sent their kids to church every Sunday, but didn't feel compelled to go themselves. Go with him if you can and if not, go on your own. I think it would help you with what you are dealing with as well. Don't think that the fact that I don;t always agree with your decisions, means that I am ot pulling for you and Keven. It is the exact opposite. I want you both to succeed and I have faith that you can and will.
Sounds like you had a great visit and it is very postive that K is thinking of returning to school. Awesome!
Heather, thanks. I hope we both keep having positive experience with our kids :)
Lacey, I know you care. I agree with you on this completely. He has to go to three meetings a week plus visit his PO twice a week and court every other week, plus he plans to go to the Y everyday and look for a job. That will keep him busy but still not give him a social life which is what he misses the most and knows he has to start over making friends. That will be tough, but it can be done.
Michael, thanks for the visit and yes, it was nice.
I am thrilled you had a good day with K and that he is thinking about a plan for when he comes home, and that you are as well. Keep taking care of yourself and be very strong in whatever boundaries you decide to set.
Most excellent day indeed...
Smiling for you both
Going to the community college and actually taking classes sounds good. I hope that Keven makes it and stays clean. Hang in there.
My son is 29 and will get his bachelors degree this summer.. sometimes these guys mature slower than others.. I once heard that drugs stunt the maturing process.
Either way I am rejoicing with you for a good day!
There is an award for you at my blog!
It will not be tough for Kevin to make new friends. What will be tough is making the right kind of friends and resisting the temptation of the ones that aren't. Sounds like he will be busy though and perhaps in Community College he will get to know some interesting people. I sure do hope so.
Sounds like K is doing some good thinking.
I agree, it's so easy to fall into that trap of feeling like you've blown it for good. I am battling this right now regarding relationships seeing I shall soon be getting divorced.
I have to keep telling myself that feeling is really just the product of the last crappy thing I told myself ("You're a loser" etc). Sheesh, who needs enemies when we've got ourselves?
But then the converse of that is that kind and more realistic thinking really does boost you into feeling good.
I'm continually amazed at how much power one little thought has. And yeah, I guess that's the worry, isn't it, that if that one little thought is "just one more hit" then that becomes a life-threatening thought.
I guess we're all just hanging on the moment really, aren't we. Which is scary and beautiful at the same time.
hugs
hugs
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