Anthony has had the opposite. In fact his first arrest was at age 16 when he was pulled over in a car his father had stolen, his dad told Ant to take the blame for it so off to prison he went. His mom almost died in a meth lab explosion, but she survived with burns to 80% of her body - only do die in a motorcycle accident a few years later. So yeah, I feel sorry for him. Yeah, I want to give him a chance.
If something negative comes of this, you can say "I told you so" and I will humbly admit my bad choice. But for the next few days I want him to know he's loved, he's not just another addict that screwed up his life. I hope he makes the right choices, and I hope I made the right choice in letting him stay here.
Time will tell.
Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara
11 comments:
I think that there are pros and cons with every choice we make...but given the circumstances....I think you made a good choice at the moment. Sure, it may backfire, but that's the risk we take with those we love.
I love the way that you love Barbara. People in your life are so blessed to have such a person in their lives.
Barbara, I think there is a gut instinct that I listen to. If I listen to what that tells me and not second guess myself and I listen to God, I can't go wrong.
They did not kick him out of the hospital but he did leave against medical advice........ Why would that be?
He was clinging to life but he went out for a burgur with the girlfriend.
Well, you saw his condition in the hospital so you know that it was true. It is amazing how they sometimes bounce back.
You have a good heart but lock up your valuables, sleep with your car keys and purse. Guard your credit cards. It is not just lack of trust these items are triggers for an addict.
When Kev comes home you are going to have to decide if you want him hanging out with ANT.
The good part is that you set the boundary of a particular time that he has to be out. I also liked that you showed him the post about the boy who died.
Good luck.
Barbara, my only hope is that you will find someone in the medical profession to help you sort through what's best for your family. Your decisions in the midst of enormous stress are not 'good' or 'bad', 'right' or 'wrong'. If you are referring to my previous comments, I'm wishing that Ant was getting a lot of professional help for his broken mind. It's an alarming and heartbreaking story. There is recovery for this disease. I have been surrounded by addicts who were severely ill for the better part of my life. I have cried myself to sleep on many nights. I have demon dialed doctors, the police, detectives, the DEA, probation officers, judges and treatment centers. I have searched the streets well into the night, stood in unsafe places and made many a decision as a reaction to addiction that I would like a redo on if I had the chances to redo. I finally found doctors who spoke to me in a way that made me believe what I did not believe in the beginning about this brain disease. It is not without sympathy that I pray for K and Ant and you. I get where you're coming from. I hope Ant gets the help he needs quickly. If it gives you hope, some of the people I love the most in the world are truly walking in recovery. I wouldn't say that one day after a visit to the emergency room. Ant is so sick. It breaks a mother's heart.
Sometimes you just need to follow your heart. Just as there are choices that have consequences for Ant, that is the case for everyone.
I like what Thomas said, "Waiting for somebody to "hit bottom" can be fatal."
You will never know for sure how many times that an action labeled enabling, may have actually been interpreted as the love from which it originated, and in turn gave K or Ant one more chance at life. That is the dance of loving an addict.
I have faith in your heart and even if this becomes another lesson learned, I hope you genuinely enjoy every second of it. You and Ant both deserve the love. (((HUGS))) my friend!
You are such a good person barbara,
but he didnt even ask you if he could stay at your place
you are SO considerated, but is he?
He was fighting for his life but when everything is ok he takes the same old attitude?
It makes me sad...
you are so kind barbara.
Agree w ms.hen
Hi my friend, I have been sick and out of town so just catching up on your last two posts. You and I are a lot alike in many ways. For instance, I feel like my brother never really had a fair shot at getting clean and healthy with his bipolar disease. I have always reached out to him because I felt he was "sicker" than just and addict because he couldn't help using due to his mental illness. Well, I know now that isn't the case. Nevertheless, we always want to help the "underdog". Ant is an underdog and we all are rooting for him to recover. I am so glad he is alive and thank God for answering the many prayers for his safe physical recovery. I always ask myself when I am not sure if I am helping or enabling, what is my motiviation. Is if fear? The fear that my brother will freeze under the bridge, OD, kill himself or someone else? Am I acting to truly do something to help or am I doing it to ease my pain or fear. Many times I have found I have good intentions, but ultimately it has been to ease my own pain/fear/sadness. Please take care of you. It is hard for us to do that, I know this all too well. I struggle with it everyday as it is so foreign to me. But like my Mom always told me..."if you don't take care of #1 first, you can't truly help anyone else." Much love and prayers to you sweet Barbara:)
I think Ms. Hen always gives you good sound advice without sounding judgmental. Maybe you should look into some of the things she mentioned. You are always looking out for others, but never yourself. Why is that so hard for you?
I think she is lucky to have you too. She has many warm caring blogger friends that want to see her succeed. I just wish she would put half the effort into doing for herself what she does for others. I don't think she sees how easy it is to care about her. I also think deep down inside she doesn't feel deserving of good things. That makes me sad.
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