Change Happens

Some people thrive on change, other resist it.  I am somewhere in the middle, depending on what type of change we're talking about.

Anthony's plans changed today when his PO's supervisor decided that a sober living home did not have enough structure.  Now he's looking for an in-patient recovery that he can afford and get into by NOON FRIDAY.

This morning we sat at the kitchen table and talked for three hours over coffee.  He packed his stuff, ready to go, and then got the phone call.  He's pretty upset.  It led to a good conversation where we talked about all the positive tools NA provides and right now The Serenity Prayer and One Day at a Time are critical to his recovery.

He wants to move, to get away from this area.  He has not safe friends and because he's very popular and has lived here all his life, he runs into people all the time that offer him drugs.

I don't know what that's like but on a smaller scale I can remember going on a very strict diet in '08 and working in an office that was full of delicious food that was offered to me by my co-workers who KNEW I was not eating the type of food they tempted me with.  That was easy compared to heroin but its the closest I can come to understanding what its like.

Ant feels like this is it:  do it or die.  He's been doing this for 7 years and knows that he's going to lose the few people he has left in his life if he keeps using.  I told him its because its so unbelieveable painful to watch someone you love destroy their own life.  He gets that, but the hopelessness that comes with heroin addiction pulls at him - I see it in his eyes, he's scared he can't do it.

I am taking care of me in the midst of this - thanks to those of you who care.  I really am doing good right now.

Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara