- No news about Ant's progress but I am waiting for an update. The plan is to very slowly allow him to (hopefully) start relying less on the ventilator and start breathing on his own. This will be over the next few days. He is not "out of the woods" but we can see a light shining through the leaves :)
This is the big issue: can his lungs regain their ability to work? I believe they will based on his age, that they are not damaged and because I can't bear the other alternative.
- Can't remember if I mentioned he has some sort of "infection" they discovered in a blood test. It will take a few days to determine what it is. I hope its not serious and or something like HIV.
- I will save the story of what happened that night for when I have the energy, what little I know for sure. Not all Sober Living homes have drug problems, but this one does and they lied to me today and yesterday so I am thinking writing a letter to the head of the place. My main concern is that they are MIS-INFORMED on how to handle an OD which is unacceptable to me on behalf of not only Anthony but everyone else they have through their program.
- I went to tell K in person. Naturally he saw me and said "what happened?" I immediately told him so he would not have a chance to imagine anything (like his grandma or aunt died). He was upset, but not surprised. He expressed himself really well when the counselor asked how he felt and why he wanted to go visit him in the hospital. I kept quiet most of the time and let him talk, he said some awesome things that made me believe he's very serious and determined to stay clean. I will share one: "I know now for sure that I can't hang out with him anymore, ever." Its a heartbreaking truth. When (not if) Ant gets better he will not be able to maintain a friendship with K. He can stay close to me, I will always have him in my life if he wants me, he can come for holidays like any relative, but he can't hang out with K as a friend. Hearing that from K made me feel relieved.
- I wrote some stuff on my other blog today about things I learned this week. One I already knew but was reminded;
I have met the most amazing, caring, REAL people via blogging. I am blown away with gratitude for the prayers that are happening. I can't even express how much it means. I am going to try desperately to get caught up with blogs right now - I may not have time to comment but I will be reading !!!!
Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara
7 comments:
I'll definitely keep your family in prayers but I'm glad things are doing "ok" at the moment.
Just logged on before going to bed to see if there was an update - I saw on your comment on mine that he woke for a minute. Praise God! I've asked a lot of people I know who pray to pray for him. We'll keep on praying!
It is a hard truth, but at least one K came to on his own.
God bless. & take care of YOU too...
What a difference prayers make. I am so relieved at this post and hope you get some much needed rest and relaxation for yourself. I will continue my prayers for Ant, K and you as always. (((HUGS)))
I realize you have a relationship with Anthony and in most cases that would be a good thing. In this case however, with him still using, I don't feel it is. That relationship could be detrimental to Keven's sobriety and as much as you want to be there for A, Keven is your priority at this point. If and when A becomes and stays clean for a long while, that could change. Until then, I think it would be better to focus on Keven. I don't know A's whole story, but I do know addicts don't always tell the truth and perhaps his version is only part of the truth in relation to his family. Keven is your family and he needs you now.
Lacey, Keven is and always will be my top priority, but I really love this kid, Ant, I'm not playing 'rescuer" or anything, I'm just loving him by being there, by listening, by encouraging him. I have very hard boundaries with him and knows that. Plus, I think it would do Keven more harm than good if I stopped my relationship with Anthony. Keven and Ant can't be friends, but I can still be in his life.
It sounds as if Keven is making some hard decisions. But perhaps he knows that he has to stick with the winners if he is to maintain his own sobriety.
Not so sure you aren't playing "rescuer".
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