Update on Ant: He is 99% sure he is going to a place tomorrow, but he has to check into the Detox area because that's the only way he's going to get his foot in the door. So he told me he's going to drink a few beers and show up there saying he's an alcoholic and a heroin addict. Ugh. I don't like it, but I guess you do what you have to do to stay out of prison (and I agree, prison has done nothing for him the last 7 years so why go that route again?).
As for my own son, I hope to go see him tonight if the weather permits. He seems to be doing well. This week he had no appts. so I didn't spend any time with him. I'm in the process of finalizing the "agreement" he will sign when he moves back in here. I like to have things in writing, its just how I am. Plus there can be NO ARGUING when you have a printed, signed document that states the rules and regulations. He should be used to those from the last 6 months!
Personally, I've been fighting depression all week and doing a lot of introspection. No one ever said life would be easy. I just didn't think I'd end up doing it alone, ya know? The girl that always had a boyfriend, that had dates galore and several long term relationships...I never dreamed I'd be alone at this age. I think I know what went "wrong" but there's no going back. Only forward with
Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara
10 comments:
Ants plan sounds like an excuse to drink to me, but what do I know?
Keven may be used to rules and regs, but not ones enforced by you. That will be challenging. I hope you are up to it and he doesn't test it too much. I still think he needs to be out of his old environment. Too much to easily go back to. I suggest he enroll in school or try to find work of some kind to keep from having too much free time on his hands and nothing to fill it. Idle hands... Maybe his mom needs to also. Depression may be from not enough going on that is keeping you busy. I think you could go back to school and study to be some sort of counselor in rehab. You might find it rewarding and insightful. Hope you feel better soon.
Hello. I'm new to your blog, but am taken with your strength, generosity and hope over these last several posts. Having a son with such a powerful addiction is a hard, hard thing. I am a member of Al-Anon, and my daughter is my qualifier. I felt alone for a long time. Al-Anon makes me feel less so.
(hugs).. I rather be alone than with the wrong man..lol.
And you what? I really never feel lonely anymore..
I believe in all that Peace and Spiritual preachings now.. lol..
I feel an inner serenity.
I like that all is in writing.
hugs..
And you know what.. a 67 year old woman I know got married at 62 to a wonderful man..
Never know what is going to happen.
Let me just say that learning ASL would be a GREAT thing! One of my duties at work is as an interpreter coordinator, and ASL interpreters make a ton of money!! I just had one come from three hours away and she worked for maybe 2 hours (mostly sitting and waiting). With mileage, travel time and per diem rate, she earned $600! If you specialize in either medical or legal, that is where you get set forever! Good news about the job outlook, hope you get it. As for putting it in writing, make sure you have the consequences spelled out and follow through if needed. I had a written list, didn't work for me, but then again, I had trouble following through. They make it so easy to get the drugs and so hard to get help (if you have no money). Too bad his doctor from the hospital couldn't write a letter to the rehab indicating the need for him to go and how close he was. Pouring here too....hey, thought it NEVER rained in S. California..ha!
I hope that all works out. Barbara, it was important for me to understand that I am not alone--I may be lonely but am not alone.
Kathy, thank you for stopping by I look forward to getting to know you!
Midnite, I know, Kev had to say he was suicidal to get treatment too. Its not right but until something changes "you do what ya gotta do"
Ms Hen, Obviously I'd rather be alone than with the wrong man too or I would not be alone :) I was just in one of those moods when I wrote that. I am not feeling that way today.
Renee, I am excited about ASL. I started to learn it last year when dating a guy that was losing his hearing so it was necessary, now I am doing it cause I want to.
Bond, who me? Thinking to hard? (you know me well)
Syd, that's a good reminder. Thank you.
Barbara, it's true. I remember one time my daughter's sponsor (16 years!) purchased a beer and poured it over her and then they waited for it to mostly dry, before dropping her off at a detox. She wasn't going to get in, any other way, and unless she went through the detox, she couldn't get to the county funded treatment center that had a bed.
How frigging stupid is that?
I hope Ant got in.... I was glad my daughter didn't have to drink it, because that would have given her the opportunity to really change her mind while her thinking was extra impaired.
Weeks later, she AWOL'd anyway, so oh well! I'll keep Ant in my prayers!
Stay dry!!!
Hey chicky,
I love the idea of an agreement. Just to set in concrete what you will and won't abide ('cos that must be hard to work out. I'd be flip-flopping backwards and forwards).
I'm sorry you don't have a man in your life too. I've been a bit introspective recently too (just for something different). I don't think there's much more painful than facing up to the horrible creepy elements of myself. So easy to turn away from them!)
Hugs to you.
Sue - YOU - introspective? NO! :) That reminds me I am going to write you an email later.
Good luck on that job! I think school would be good for Keven. It kind of gives him a fresh start and after college he can focus on looking for a job with the drug use hopefully behind him.
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