The last week has been one of the worse ever. Without going into all the details, we let him come home for a few days after a hospital stay (he was covered in sores that were infected with staph and had to be on an IV antibiotic). Knowing its always a bad idea to have him home, we still allowed it because he was in no condition to go back to another sleazy motel and get re-infected.
Since he's been home he's been using bath salts and acting crazy but I couldn't be sure that's what it was until this evening (his "normal" is so bizarre these days that I wasn't positive it was drugs). Its been unbearable but I was trying to hang on until Tuesday when he sees his PO and was hoping for a court ordered rehab just to get him off the streets because he is very susceptible to MRSA and I always fear him getting that flesh eating disease (I know...I can't help it).
This evening I knew he was shooting up in the bathroom so I told him to get out of the house and he left threatening to kill himself. I called the cops. They couldn't find him. Then all of a sudden he comes walking back in the house so I called again and they came over.
He ran but the tackled him in our back yard (my mother and sister are at my brother's having a celebration so they didn't have to see this. After the cops cuffed him one went back to search the area and found a huge butcher knife from our kitchen, showed it to Keven and told him if he had pulled this out he would have been shot dead.
Keven was so out of it and then he started faking a seizure but the cop said he wasn't born yesterday, blah blah blah. Since he'd been injecting bath salts (which are legal!!!) they could not arrest him but he was so out of it they called the Fire Dept. and Paramedics.
One cop searched his room and the bathrooms for syringes but didn't find any. Keven admitted he had thrown them in the sewer drain outside out house.
The Paramedics came and took him away, the cop went with him. He said I should try and get Social Services invovled since nothing was working. I think Keven, on top of being an addict, is mentally ill. It may be drug induced or not and what difference does it make? He's not normal. Ever. I am very scared for my boy.
I won't be going to visit him until maybe tomorrow afternoon or evening. I'm sure he's pissed off at me but I know I did the right thing.
Tomorrow is a new year, a new beginning.
OH AND CHECK THIS OUT! I FOUND A MEETING! I've said in the past that I don't like Al-Anon mtgs. because I'm treated like an outsider and everyone is a snob. Well, I went to one this morning (for parents) and I felt the LOVE! I walked in the room and literally FELT the love. It was awesome. To my surprise two of my former co-workers were there, so it was a joyful reunion. And Ant's grandma was there too, she'd been asking me to go with her for awhile so she was glad I showed up.
BTW, Ant's using again. No surprise there, but I am sad about it.
Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara
13 comments:
Oh Barbara, I am SO glad you found that meeting. Parent meetings do have a different feel to them... I am so grateful that you felt the love. You can't do this alone. You need real live people who can walk with you and stand by you. Good for you for calling the police. That takes some courage and I am so glad that you did it. Very painful stuff. And again, I am so sorry, but you are doing all you can.
Barbara, I'm so sorry you had to go through this. You are one incredible woman. Thank you for sharing your growth process. <3
I'm glad you found a meeting you liked! Can Keven be commited or put on a hold? He really needs help and I don't think jail is the answer. He needs a 90 day medical stay. I am so sorry you are going thru this but, you did the right thing calling the police and going to a meeting. You are taking care of Barbara!! Stay strong Barbara.
Glad that you found a meeting that you like. I'm surprised that you were treated like an outsider in Al-Anon as we say here that the newcomer is the most important person in the room. And we mean it. Keep trying meetings. I'm sure that you will find more than one that will have good people who will appreciate your being there. I cannot say that I am surprised about either Keven or Anthony.
Oh Barbara! Your strength keeps amazing me. You have been to 'hell and back' with Keven's addiction over and over again. I am so sorry about Keven. You did the right thing to call the police. What else could you have done? I can only imagine how sad and helpless you must feel about your dear son. I know you love him so much. Keep trying to care for yourself, too. Going to an Al-Anon meeting is one way you can do this. Take care. Prayers!
Shelley in SK
Oh Barbara....this has me sitting here on New Years eve crying...and praying for Keven and you. I don't know how you're getting through this....it's so awful for you. Please let us know an update. You are very special to my heart. I'm glad you felt that love in the meeting..if so, keep going.
I too have had difficulty here in upstate New York trying to find a good meeting and was also made to feel like you did. I was told to keep trying different ones but I never did. Praying for you and your situation I remember sleeping with a hammer hooked to my bed when my son first quit heroin and switched to alcohol he would become very violent when he was wasted. No one should have to live this way and yes you can have him committed to a mental institution if need be. It is unsafe for you and your elderly mother to have him in her home. What a nightmare for you. So sorry to hear that it has gotten increasingly worse. The drugs seem to be causing his mental instability.
Barbara. Wow. I agree - you did the right thing. I'm not so sure I would be so strong.
I'm so sorry things have gone awry lately. I sense it's coming to a head...
What a horrible start to the new year. :(
You are so strong, and I have no doubt in my mind you did the right thing. I hope and pray that this year you, Keven and Ant find peace and a way out of this hell that you are all living in.
Injecting bath salts (and any number of other drugs, especially meth) puts one into a drug induced psychosis. The mental symptoms are exacerbated with lack of sleep, poor diet, etc. It is impossible to treat mental breakdowns while drugs are in the system. I'm telling you this from own experience, Barbara. Mental hospitals will not accept someone obviously high-that was our problem when we tried to get our son committed.
Where do they go?? There is no system in place for someone in Keven's condition. Since he hasn't broken the law, he will be released. You should be working on a place for him to go--letting him come home will not work. I don't like giving advice, but I have been in this situation and it is a terrible, helpless feeling. Keven is in need of a "time out", someplace where he can get the drugs out of his system. Only then can you work on underlying issues.
If I can give you any hope, our son survived some of the most awful, terrifying situations. When things were most bleak, God showed us a way out. That's what I believe.
Barbara,
I know you have got your hands full. I think you have tried this once before, but how about having him committed. You can say he had a knife and you are scared of him. Maybe you can get him evaluated and become his guardian if he is found to be incompetent. I know this is a long shot and I don't know the severity of his mental disease. . Just running out of ideas :(
I am sorry you are dealing with such pain. Love, hope and serenity to you, my friend.
I love what Lou said but I do know that I was absolutely given the option of having my adult child sent to a mental institution for committing or having the intent to commit a violent act. I think the laws may vary from state to state. I found this on the web:
"Occasionally a loved one is addicted to drugs or is suffering from a mental illness. Unfortunately, the person may not realize he needs help with his addiction or suffering. Luckily all 50 states, including Massachusetts, allow a person to be involuntarily committed to a mental hospital or substance abuse program by a judge. While the burden of proof is high, giving your loved one the help he needs is priceless."
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