So out of "an accident" came the most wonderful, life-changing, me-changing thing that's ever happened to me. I flourished being a new mom ... I had never known such joy. I changed my life around so that I could be home with him as much as possible. I discovered depths of love I had never known were possible.
Keven is a good person. He's compassionate, kind, generous, authentic, honest, fun. He's also depressed, has serious anxiety issues and low self esteem. Its sad to see someone that is so likable feel so unworthy. Of course when he's high/using, another person comes to the surface and he's someone I don't like much at all. What keeps me going, hoping and supporting is the fact that I KNOW that Keven underneath it all is a valuable, lovable, and someone I am PROUD to call my son.
My hope for him today is that as he enters this new rehab, this one last chance (lets see I think this is the 10th "one last chance" he's had), is the turning point of his life. I also hope his selfish, arrogant, stupid father calls him today even though he doesn't even know how old he's going to be. (he's an alcoholic - do you think that is one of the reasons Keven's an addict, he has the gene?). On his 18th birthday his dad got him shitfaced drunk and then let him drive himself home...which he was incapable of so his gf had to drive his car even though she barely knew how to drive.
Ok. So I got that out of my system.
9 comments:
It's important that someone remember who they were, and who they can be.I hope Keven gets a smile, a hug, and belief in himself for his birthday.
What a wonderful post! Happy birthday Keven!!
Sometimes I wonder if low self esteem is the cause of so many addictions. I was reading an interesting article about Amy Winehouse, and it seems that so many of her issues were really down to low self esteem and she could never really see just how talented she was.
Happy Birthday Keven. He sounds a lot like my 21 year old son. One of his high school friends told him he had a whole fan club and didn't even realize it. If only they could learn to love themselves.
I hope that Keven knows that we are all pulling for him to succeed. He is young and has so much to offer. I hope that he realizes that and chooses to share what he has that is good. Happy birthday to you, Keven.
Hi
Happy Birthday Keven (bit late).
I hope he sticks with it.
Both my sons were, like Keven, results of a quickie with the ex! (two different exes) how strange.
Hope you're feeling good and looking after "you" x
Happy birthday to your boy, and you, Mom! We can only do the best that we can do! ox
Happy 21st Birthday. I've always felt birthdays are special and I hope his was. Hope Keven knows his mom is the best!
What a beautiful and touching post. Yes he is an addict, but strip that away and you have the person he used to be, the person he will become again, the person he wants to be.
You write so tenderly, even though any minute it could all come crashing down.
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