Spent some time with Anthony last night, we went to dinner and I gave him a ride home. It was good. He told me he found Keven, he'd been trying for days just to see how he was doing. He's doing exactly as we expected: he's in a motel with a girl doing drugs. End of story. He told Ant that "I need to figure out what I'm gonna do in the next few days". REALLY? How profound.
I know who he's with, a girl he met in jail (they were both in custody and at Opportunity Court together so got to "know" each other while in the cage in court).
I'm just plain angry and disappointed, but not at all surprised.
FYI, Ant has been going to meetings and talking to his sponsor. I was right, there is something up with him and we had a good talk about it. In a comment Bugerlugs said maybe he needs a mom and a the program, I think she's right. I'll be honest, it makes me nervous that Kev just happens to be in a motel within walking distance of Ant's sober living, so we talked about it. We both know Kev would love nothing more than to go on a run with his "brother" and Ant knows it. He assured me that it wouldn't happen that "he would never do that to me". I said "wait a minute! This isn't about me it's about YOU and your recovery". He said, "Yeah, I know, but its also about you." I am not fooling myself by thinking it can't happen, but I sure as heck hope it doesn't. It truly would be a devastating blow.
In other news, "Homedrugtest Kit" posted an article on a synthetic drug ban in Tennesse and what the head shop owners are doing to get around the ban. Its sickening to me that people knowingly sell such a dangerous substance with no regard for human life - only for $$$. You can read it here:
Head shop owners don’t care how they make their killing… even if their most popular product is a killer!
Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara
12 comments:
Good reply to Anthony about using drugs being about what he is doing to himself. I still get a bad feeling about all of this. It just doesn't add up to me with Anthony knowing where Keven is and Keven being nearby, etc. I hope that I am wrong.
Syd, I'm with you 100% on the bad feeling. I have mentally prepared myself to accept whatever happens. I already told Ant that IF he steps off the path of recovery I would distance myself from him. But mostly, I hope for his own sake, he can do the right thing.
I feel uneasy with Ant at this point. Be careful Barbara.
Mike, yeah me too :(
Especially now that A just texted me that he's meeting with K to "help him out" at a Starbucks and that K looks all shot out. He's playing with fire by even being near him, but I'm staying out of it. I even turned my phone notifications off.
I want to think the best thoughts, but they get harder with experience. Hang in there, Barb.
Notmyboy,
Wow! We were on each other's blogs at the same time. The second I left you a comment, I got one from you.
I'm feeling the same way you are today. Wish we could all meet up somewhere for a few days to give out hugs, laugh, and cry together.
"angry and disappointed, but not at all surprised"
I can relate Barbara! Here's hoping for good surprises in the new year!
I feel just like Syd does.
You know I just don't know how YOU stay so together in all this. I'll pray for you and Keven and Anthony.
Just try to stay strong mate. Thinking of you.
This article is about happenings in my neck of the woods. Tricties is Kingsport, Bristol and Johnson City, TN. I know all about this horrible problem. You know what I think about the Ant situation :(
Hi, I wish too that we could all meet up and laugh and cry about it all . . . (reminded me of Cohen's Marianne)
I hope Ant pulls away from Kev. It does seem strange that hes even meeting with him? Why would he?
I was 3 months clean once, proper cold turkey . . Then baptised . . Then met Hamper G's Dad and tried to "get him clean" Guess what happened . . . Yep you guessed it!
7 years later . . . O dear. Ant is either using or trying to "save" Kev. Either way . . :-(
But you only need to part of their recovery not their using. Other than that stay strong and lovely , Hugs n love Di x
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