Had a bad day. Don't even feel like talking about it. I'll just say this:
Statistically speaking K will relapse and this is just the beginning of many years in the cylce of drugs/jail.
Spiritually speaking, anything can happen, he may choose to work hard on recovery and never use again.
Only time will tell. I am just sick of it all.
10 comments:
I tend to not be a worrier, to think that things will always turn out for the best, even when things seem darkest. Maybe I'm an idealist, but Keven as you've described him pre-drugs sounds like someone who will fight through and beat this.
God has the power to beat the statistics! You're in my prayers love. Take really care of yourself. That's what's best when we have a tough day. Tomorrow will be better!
Barbara, I am praying especially vigilantly for you and Keven tonight. He can beat the odds and you will be okay. Tomorrow will be better. You have my love and you are in my thoughts and my prayers.
I went to a Juvenile Justice Centre on Friday and spoke to and listened to 4 young offenders who told their stories. They were all 18-21 yr. olds. All of them had committed violent drug / alcohol related crimes. All of them saw a future for themselves. Everyone deserves another chance. Unless Keven acts out the world he is in he will become the person you believe he is. If he does act out the world he is in it may just take him a little longer. All the best to you Barbara, my heart is with you and Keven.
I can see why you would be sick of it. I hope Keven is wise and takes his chance.
I was there last week. How can you take care of YOU right now? Maybe don't go and see Keven for a few days, even a week and just get yourself strong. Keep the focus on yourself. Keven isn't going anywhere while you nurture your own spirit for a few days. Its ok to do that you know. ((HUGS)) to you Momma.
Good advice from Annette. Every person living with an addict needs to learn how to live a steady, stable, healthy life no matter what the addict's choices are. You get to be OK either way.
I also like what Annette had to say. I would like to add that the statistics are a bit skewed and not completely accurate. There are many people who may have never gone to a Rehab and are recovering. Many who may never have filled out the questionnaire to get those statistics that are well and functioning in society clean and sober. I am one of them. I have been told this by not only my family counselor who has expertise in the drug & alcohol field, but also by at least three administrative people in rehabs. Always have hope Barbara and never count them out:) That all being said, I am sick of it all too! (((HUGS)))
I, too, am hanging onto hope- but I'm also sick of it all. I know that tomorrow I'll probably feel better, or one day soon, but for today I'm sick of addiction and it's impact on myself and my family.
It is indeed a roller coaster. The waves of exhaustion, grief, fear, just come up when you least expect it and take you down. I am learning to not fight that process so much. That may sound weird, but when I am sad, I let myself be sad for that day. If I'm hit with the overwhelming depression (which manifests for me as bone-numbingly tired) I give myself a nap and let someone else do some of the housework. When the fear hits, I try to pray, let go/put it in my God box, and then I spend time sewing, or take a walk with one of the rescued pups, or watch an NCIS rerun with my oldest daughter (I'm not really much of a TV fan, but I kinda like that Mr. Harmon!).... You get my drift, I'm sure.
Mostly, I'm trying to say, keep on plodding....the rollercoaster goes up as well as down!
Prayers continue, for all of us, and our loved ones!
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