K's Parole Officer called me tonight, I really like him. At first he started to say "you'll need to pick him up at 6:30 am get him to his doctors then bring him to PH."
WHOA! I did NOT want to pick him up. I reminded him that K had 30 day supply of his meds with refills so it was not necessary to take him to his doctor.
Thank goodness...cause that would have been a nightmare. I can see it now...me picking him up and him refusing to go and that would be the end of that. Luckily he is arranging for someone else to transfer K straight from jail to PH.
Its a lovely old house isn't it? He's so fortunate to be able to go there. His PO is also going to remind him that this is a privilage to be able to be in this program and that he has to focus on himself...This is a very strict but GOOD program. I am so grateful he was court ordered to go, there is no way I could afford even a week there let alone 90 days!
I'll be honest. I am scared. I am really scared. K is used to having his own way (I can see how I went wrong in not allowing him to experience more consequences and making life "too easy" for him). He will try every possibly way to make this experiences as "easy" as possible. Its going to be HARD. Way harder than jail.
Two more days. This is what I've been waiting for, but I'm so nervous.
15 comments:
I'm excited and nervous with you!
Discipline for a child is initially hard. Some parents give up and give in thinking that is easier. I assure you that in the end it is the harder way to go for both of you. Keven's time in rehab will be hard. I worry more that it will be harder for you to give up your old habits of giving in to him. This is IMPORTANT. You have to change the way you deal with him, while he changes himself. There is no reason he cannot work to get the things that he wants. He will attempt to make you feel guilt and that is where this whole thing could fall apart. You have to be strong and stand up for yourself, and in a way, for Keven. Go to meetings, learn what you need to learn about dealing with him. If he fails it does not mean you have failed. It means he wasn't ready, but you cannot give up now. Stand strong. I have faith in you, you need to have faith in yourself too.
You are in my prayers, good decision not to pick up Keven.
You can't slam yourself on this one. YOu didn't teach him to do those things, he chose them. Stop making excuses for him. His problem isn't a loving mother. This program may be hard but living on the streets doing what you have to do for drugs is harder. I see those faces a lot and they look hard, sad and hard.
I'm praying for both of you.
Milly
More evidence that God is working on the very best outcome here. Keep the faith and stay busy today! It helps.
I'm glad he's finally getting in. I'm hoping and praying for the best outcome.
Believe me, your son is not the first one that didn't want to really be there. Let Keven work on himself. Relax and enjoy every drama free minute.
I agree that you are partially right in that we did NOT allow our children to feel the consequences of early bad decisions. We did it out of love, but in the end, they did not learn that for every action, ,there is and equal and opposite REACTION.
consequences.
that is why when my daughter calls for anything I say NOPE. its HER consequence for using that led her to just about everything, so SHE has to live out the consequence just as a murderer who kills, gets sent to prison and is sorry they killed does. They may be sorry, but they still have to serve out the remainder of their sentence. Sometimes, it is a life sentence.
Life sucks that way
Fyrfly, thanks :)
Lacey, you know me and have always been like that coach behind the boxer in the ring...pushing me and encouraging me that I can do it. The fight is on and I am preparing. I thought I was in battle before but the real challenge is going to be the day he gets out of there and back home....Thanks for caring, coach :)
Michael, thank you! Yeah I don't even want to see him yet. I do, but I don't....
Anon. I know. You're right, and thanks.
Kay, I will stay busy today, lots to do! thank you
Lou, I've been loving the last three months of him in jail! Its like a luxury vacation with no stress or worry (well at least related to him...being unemployed is another story!)
Fractalmom....Absolutely. I am going to use "NO" a lot in the days to come.
Way to go Barbara! I am hoping Keven will embrace recovery and surprise everyone.
From all I have heard of places like P.H. he can try and make it easy, but they will kick his arse if he does and make him open his eyes.
Now if he fights them over things, he is back in jail right? he better remember that, because in most rehabs there are no second chances..you screw up once you lose.
Good luck to him and much peace to you...stay strong barbara
That is a lovely old house- certainly not a bad place to call "home," for a while! You should see the place my son was at, it was awful looking. Praying that Keven makes the best of this opportunity for recovery and that he does the hard work that it takes. Hugs to you.
It is nerve wracking. But its up to him....I hope he makes good use of his time there. After the initial adjustment period H really felt good. It felt good to have some structure, some direction. I hope that his experience is day by day a life changing one for him.
I am so glad you are up for the challenge! It's going to be hard, but we are all here for you. Keven is often in my thoughts as are you.
I'm hoping all will go well.
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