November 11, 2009

The Beginning of the Nightmare

Last December I got the phone call that changed my life as I knew it.  I didn't realize at that time how much it would change, I think its best we can't see the future - one day at a time is enough for me.

Here is the post I wrote on the day my son's high school principal called and told me to come to the school immediately, that Keven had been escorted out of class by a police officer for being under the influence. 

Today was horrible.  Getting the call from the school, sitting there with the cop hearing about my son's drug problem, that he's been shooting coke and heroin.  Then...telling my MOTHER and BROTHER about it (something I thought I'd never do), now I am just sitting.  \\crashed, been crashed for several hours. Do I let him sleep or wake him up?

What if he wakes up in the middle of the night and freaks out?

I hid all the car keys in the house so he can't leave....unless he calls one of his "bad" friends to come and get him.

I can't read, write or watch tv. I am all wound up. I guess I am writing...

I took tomorrow off so I could sit here all day and watch him but he will HATE that. Tough.

I don't know what to do .....

I am afraid to ever sleep again, that's when he does all this shit - when I am sound asleep.

I miss Dougie, he would be such a comfort right now...but I have Sherry and I have all of you who read here.

THIS TOTALLY SUCKS

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