"Does he deserve this????"
"Is this the right thing to do, its like we're rewarding his bad behavior?"
I'm not sure what "deserving" has to do with it. No, he did nothing to deserve or earn such a nice room. But we love him, and we want him to feel good about himself again. We want to give him something that says "I am not a drug addict loser".
K has lost a lot. What you see in those photos is all he owns. A sample of things he's lost to drug use:
His car (then his truck)
His girlfriend
Four months of freedom (combined jail time)
His senior year of high school
His iPod
His cell phone
Countless pairs of nice jeans, sunglasses and several nice jackets
His X-Box
His Playstation
99% of his friends
His driver's license
His diploma from HS
His self respect
His innocence (the kind of innocence I mean is....he's seen things in the last few years that most of us will never see in "real life"; he's done things that an average person living on this planet will never do; its taken something from him and left a cold hard place in his heart that will hopefully warm up again soon).
So, that's my justification for allwoing him to come home to such a nice room. He will not be handed all the things he either sold or had stolen from during his drug days. If he wants an iPod, etc. he will have to find a way to earn it. He will have to get used to having what he can afford on a normal salary - not on the kind of money he was used to having in his pocket.
I want my son to come home and feel like he has a fresh start. I just hope with all my heart that he can STAY in this nice room. I won't tolerate any drugs, alcohol or bad behavior (the bad behavior comes along with the drugs and alcohol so I'm thinking...this could be good....)
Anyhow, I know I don't owe anyone an explanation, but I needed to get this out for my own benefit. Thanks :)
And yeah, my sis rocks.
Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara
10 comments:
I LOVE IT! I think it is a great gesture for all of the right reasons and hopefully he will be doing lots of work at his current "home" before he gets to truly appreciate this room.
We used to have the same table (used as his night table) of course not painted black, when I was a kid!
Midnite, thanks! You had that table??? I LOVE that thing! I got it at a garage sale but its one of the things he and his friends wrote stuff all over in black pen. Its not as pretty as the original wood but it is kinda old fashioned "chic" :)
Dad and Mom, I think my sis did it mostly for her because she LOVES projects like that. Now she's working on my brother's house!
My room needs redone! :) lol
His room looks awesome. It's really going to be nice for him when he comes home - and I agree - a fresh start - that's a great way to put it!
It shows him your & your sister's support of him moving forward. My son recently revealed that his room would be a trigger to use when he came back and we talked about ways to change it, like paint. So I think taking away one of K's triggers is awesome!
My whole house needs to be redone!! I think it resembles a cleansing and fresh start for everyone involved. He will be so proud of his new living space:)
Right on Barbara, you did the right thing. A fresh look for a fresh start
I think that it is great that you and your sister love Kevin so much. When I saw that room I saw love.. here's hoping that K sees it too.
It doesn't matter why you did it, it looks beautiful. I like that color scheme!
Heather's Mom, Its always nice to have a change - and sometimes necessary.
Tracy, thanks for sharing this! I think the room is a big trigger for Keven too (he may have even said that but I don't remember).
Renee, If I look around at my own stuff, most of it came from garage sales or is 40 years old...but its clean! That's my big issue, messy is ok, but clean is a must :)
Michael, thanks!!
Lou, you're right. I had to justify it to make myself feel better but it really doesn't matter. He also wants a Koi fish tattoo on his forearm. oy vay!
KB, my sis was at my side when I gave birth to the little bundle of joy and has never left my side or his. She's taken the role of "husband/father" in many ways and without her - well I can't even go there. Keven adores his "aunt T". Although sometimes she's more like HIS sister and I have to stop them from teasing each other.
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