Last night I was getting my hair cut and weaved by my wonderful friend/hairstylist when I got a call from Keven. He said he was somewhere in Santa Ana and didn't know where he was but that he was scared. He said he'd been surrounded by cops with tasers (really? then why aren't you in jail?). He insisted that I come and get him.
Don't worry - I didn't do it! He was angry and called half an hour later to tell me not to bother coming to get him (I had already said I wasn't) because he'd called 911 on himself.
I went to bed. I got up this morning (day off) walked the dogs, visited my aunt, stopped by to visit Anthony's grandparents, read blog....etc. Eventually I got a call from a hospital in SA from a psychiatric nurse. We chatted and she told me she was recommending a transfer to St. Joseph's "Level 1" (i.e. 5150/involuntary hold).
Keven called later and I asked him where his belongings were he said they were safe but with someone he didn't want me to know about. Ok. Whatever. Then he asked me to bring him some stuff (underwear, socks, etc) and I said I would bring him those things tomorrow after work because I'd be much closer to St. Joe's but I wasn't in the mood to drive in traffic tonight.
Wow, was he pissed. When we hung up I said my usual "I love you" and he said "I love you too....I guess".
Anthony's grandmother said "now you know why I prefer to be angry all the time, it sure beats being worried or sad!"
I know I don't HAVE to bring him jack crap, but I choose to bring him some essentials and I'll admit - I'm curious what a visit with him will be like.
PAMMIE'S BLOG POST IS A MUST READ. Its not an easy read, but once again she's helped me by speaking from the addicts point of view. I know Keven has never felt right inside, I started noticing that when he was just a young kid. I also know that he will never be a "normie" which tears me up inside. But the most important thing I got from her is that there is NOTHING I can do to help him. There's nothing any of us can do. They have to want it. Thankfully, Anthony finally does. We'll see about Keven.
Read her post HERE
Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara
10 comments:
Barbara,
You are doing so awesome! I'm so impressed with you! You are right, you are not required to do anything. Sometimes I start a sentence with, "I have to" then I correct myself to "I don't have to but I am going to..." That makes it my choice.
I hope you enjoyed your day off and that your hair looks fabulous!
hugs. You sound strong.
From your picture, I can see you have nice, thick hair! I love an afternoon at the hair dresser myself.
He is safe already..that didn't take long;)
Terri, thank you very much :)
And yes, my hair looks pretty good!
Thanks, Ms. Hen, hugs to you too.
Lou, I know, didn't take long at all!
He knows how to get where he needs to be. That's a good thing. Sleep well and take care.
I am glad he is safe and you are doing well. Awesome news about Anthony. It seems like most of them can get some clean time in when they put their minds to it.
You are doing well, enjoy your day off for you.
I think he still hoping for a rescue . . I'm surrounded by police,
I'm in hospital cus I'm a danger to myself . . . I read in someones blog yesterday (It might be Pammie) We are not our children's Higher power. He is calling out to the wrong person.(police, Drs, You)
Something Pammie did say;
"Even when I didn't want to use with every fibre of my body . . . I still used"
Wanting to get clean does not make it happen. It's a huge spiritual battle. "We" are not strong enough and would be fooling ourselves to think we are. We have to surrender completely to God/HP, who is far better equiped for the battle.
Even knowing this doesn't make it happen otherwise I would be clean. It's an act of bravery and faith to relinquish control and surrender all.
I hope Keven, me and many more get to this point one day.
Prayer is powerful. Stay strong.
Love n hugs x
Barbara,
Good for you. I know what you are doing is very hard and sometimes hurts.
I'm not going to BS you. It doesn't get any easier. It's always hard but what does get better is the peace you find when you know what you are doing is right for you and Keven.
But the most important thing I got from her is that there is NOTHING I can do to help him. There's nothing any of us can do. They have to want it.
I'm glad to see you receiving this message.
I am glad he is safe.
My daughter has "5150" tattood across her abdomen. When she was pregnant, it became huge!
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