I am reading and re-reading the comments left yesterday. I even print some out to carry with me!
Just a quick update:
I slept well last night, although my phone rang at 3:30 am (I had it on vibrate but still heard it). It was "you know who" calling with this scheme of how I could get money from his bank to my bank and take it out of my ATM for him since he doesn't have an ATM card. I ran down to my bank immediately and got out all the money he wanted....
JUST KIDDING. I told him he was crazy for even asking such a thing and hung up (turned the phone back off and went back to sleep without too much trouble. I have not heard from him today and am not planning to answer if he calls.
Peace Hope and LOTS of Love,
Barbara
JUST KIDDING. I told him he was crazy for even asking such a thing and hung up (turned the phone back off and went back to sleep without too much trouble. I have not heard from him today and am not planning to answer if he calls.
Peace Hope and LOTS of Love,
Barbara
19 comments:
YAY for you Barbara!!!! It is hard not to answer the phone...at first. Eventually you won't even hear it when it is on vibrate.
Good for you!
As for your title, it's so true. Here's to hoping you can maintain your resolve and your boundaries (because that's ultimately what this is about) when the anger eventually starts to dissipate.
Ha, Glad you still got a sense of humor.
You're finally learning it is easier to laugh about this big pile of shit than to cry.
Thanks, Terri, Jarred and Ron.
I don't know if its easier to laugh than cry about this, but it feels better. I had a moment at lunch but regrouped and am focusing on other things.
As some of you may know - my job doesn't require much of me so I have tons of free time all day. Sometimes I long for more work to do (and I always long for more pay!)
It's so damn hard......I know! Stay strong Barbara, your doing great and look at all of the support you've got here!! Just reach out and talk to someone when your having a tough time. Take care of YOU and prayers Keven finds his way soon!
I was reaching for the phone to ask Karen to go bonk you over the head with a good sized legal binder when I scrolled down and read the next paragraph! Just kidding! I literally had a split second where I thought, "Oh no!" and now I'm grinning! You had me!
Good for you Barbara! And yes, you've kept your sense of humor and there have been days when laughing about that sort of thing is the difference between my total breakdown, or just a halfway serious glance around for the nearest razorblade. Some of the best laughing I've done has been in an Alanon meeting with a Kleenex in my hand and tears on my face at the same time!
Good for you. You are a good mom. You deserve good nights of sleep. Hang in there; the far-fetched and amazingly unconventional requests have only begun. And your journey (and Keven's) continues. Bless you Barbara - I'm praying and thinking of you.
O well done you :-)
You're right it's so much easier when you are angry/pissed off and so you should be. Like, why should you care about him being able to access money (for gear) when he obviously doesn't give a shit about you getting a much needed good nights sleep.
So good to "see" you strong. Stay strong. Hugs, prayers n love x
Way to be in control!!! Very proud of you!!! Stay strong!
Nothing makes me madder than people waking me up in the middle of the night for no good reason!
You are doing great, Barbara. Thanks for your comment. I really appreciate your caring. You love dogs like I do.
Love the title of this post, Barbara!
My goodness. Keven is quite clever and capable at figuring out how to get what he wants (money in this case). Now, if he could just put the energy into figuring out what he needs!!! and how to get that.
Addicts are very resourceful. If he wants help, he will find a way to get it. He has proven his skills in figuring things out. He just doesn't want to stop the 'craziness of using' yet, and until then, sadly, there is not one thing you can do to make him want it.
So yes, try to enjoy your life! (And get pissed off!!! when you need to. Whatever gets YOU through the day!!) My prayers...
Shelley in SK
It is a lot easier when you are pissed. That is for sure.
My advice is to turn your phone off so that you can sleep or eat or relax.
Another suggestion is that you might want to line up some shelters so that you have some place to take him when he comes begging at your door. This will almost surely happen.
No one knows this heartache unless they have experienced this. Unfortunately we belong to the same club on that score.
Take care of yourself.
It is wonderful that our addicts are so clever and resourceful...it could take them very far in life...umm or not. Either way I always tell J not to include me in any of his clever ideas now. They are exhausting and I am not investing myself in them any longer. His last idea was me taking a day off from work to get him to a job interview an hour away. Uh yeah I don't thinks so. Nice try but I also know that I would be responsible for driving you to that job an hour away. Umm...no.
WOW !!!! Barbara good on YOU ! Those middle of the night calls...ugh...hate 'em. Isn't it funny the calls are never just to say "hi mama, love you" Always some scheme, some drama. I love what Ron said. It IS a pile of you-know-what. But you, Dear One, have chosen to not step in it. YAY! Xo Kris B
First of all, I HATE 3a.m. calls. I got one 3 nights ago and couldn't go back to sleep for several hours and ended up sleeping until 10:30 am and missed a morning meeting (Al Anon) that I wanted to go to. Boo. And secondly, way to be strong and take care of you!
Thanks, everyone. YOU people are keeping me going in the right direction! He called tonight and I told him NO. He was so incoherent I really am not sure where he was but he wanted me to come get him.
Hugs girl, I know how tough it is! My son just came home and said he wanted to get clean. Our insurance would not pay for another detox so I was doing it at home. He was doing great and 2 days before he was supposed to move into SL he bolted. I shut off his phone and told him I was done and that he would have to find support somewhere else. So today he showed up at my door to get his things to move into SL. I guess he didn't need my help after all. They really are very resourceful. I think the more we help them the less they learn from it. It is really something that they have to do on their own. You can do this and you have lots of friends to help you if you start to waiver. We are here for you!
Barbara, I'm pissed too! And I didn't even get woken up.
I want someone to take money out of their account and transfer it to ME. I want someone to drive ME to "treatment" (after finding it for ME), where I can rest for awhile from my strenuous job that carries the insurance for the treatment. Will someone find ME a therapist to tell my troubles to, and someone to give ME some meds so I won't be so pissed anymore.
Sheesh. Is that too much to ask!
hugs
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